The Petrified Forest (Strawdog Theater)

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The cast of Petrified Forest poses for a picture



Strawdog Theatre Company is known far and wide for their immersive work and high quality productions. If you were ever telling some stranger from out of town about a place to go see a really great storefront show, Strawdog would undoubtedly cross your moistened lips.

Taking classic plays, or unknown little chestnuts and giving them new, unbridled life is the Strawdog calling card, so it should be no surprise to you or your family that they have decided to tackle a play from the 30's called "The Petrified Forest".

In 4th grade, my class had to write reports on National Parks. We were each assigned a different park and much to my disappointment, I got stuck with the boring ass Petrified Forest.

At the time, you have to understand, there was no "Internet" so trying to find any pictures of this place was almost impossible, but why?

The 1st and most obvious reason is because that is where alien spaceships land and the government doesn't want us to see what is really going on. The 2nd and less feasible reason is because no one really cares about Petrified Forest National Park.

So anyway, the point of me telling you that is because I don't want you to feel dumb when I start dropping all this knowledge on you. I am an expert, so please don't think I am showing off.

The Petrified Forest is this place in...I wanna say Wyoming where dinosaurs used to live and used to have all this grass. But then, a volcano or something happened and turned all the grass and trees and everything to rocks. Rocks!

So tourism is a very important industry in that part of the country because people from all over the world come to look at these rocks on the ground, or kill someone.

Now the play "The Petrified Forest" is about this little diner on the edge of the park where travelers going to the West Coast might stop from dinner or maybe some gasoline or a jar of liquor. The owner of this diner a guy who is clearly burdened with his old father that complains about everything and tells stories about when he was younger and was in the circus? Or was a cowboy? He also has his almost adult daughter named Gabby that wants to bang everybody.

Gabby takes care of the diner, while outside at the gas pump is a guy named Boze that used to be a football player in Nevada but probably wasn't really that good, but he still wears his jersey every day. Well, I bet you know that Gabby and Boze like to get it on from time to time behind the dad's back. I don't know what the dad thinks, I mean they are out in the middle of nowhere and his daughter is like, 19 years old. All she thinks about is doing it.

Well, one day this creep with a pencil thin mustache comes in and is all sweaty and orders some hamburgers and a beer. He starts talking in this crazy sort of British accent and smoking this cigarette thing.

Well, he's telling Gabby about how he is a roustabout (homeless bum) an how he is traveling to find himself. Well, of course, Gabby wants to bang this guy, too!

Which, by the way, doesn't make too much sense to me. Imagine if you were in the desert and a sweaty, homeless John Waters wandered into your little diner. Talking in his crazy accent about books and his ex-wife, would you want to sleep with him? No! You would be like, "Hey John Waters, why do you sound like that? You are from Baltimore. Why are you walking alone in the desert? Are you here to rape me?"

But not Gabby! Ooooh no, she has her own agenda! She wants to marry this guy and move to France or California or someplace and leave the football guy and Grandpa behind.

So at this point, about 50 minutes into the first act, you start thinking, "Wait, is this play just about people sitting around eating hamburgers? Because I know a great place to listen to weirdos and eat hamburgers for much less than $28 a ticket."

Then, just when you assume this love triangle and this tense cigarette smoking contest will never end, in busts some other guys! Duke Manatee and his gang of gun carrying outlaws are on the run from the law! They are here and they immediately shake things up by... also sitting down and having cigarettes and hamburgers? Yeah, I guess they do.

At intermission, I got to really take a look at the set and appreciate it. Strawdog has a history of making incredible sets that make you feel like a fly on the wall, and this was no exception. A bar and diner tables, surrounded by the beautiful vista of the Cartoon Mountain Range in the heart of America.

The lights went down and here comes the exciting and action filled second act! I could hardly contain myself! Surely this act had death and destruction in store!

The lights came up, and what was everyone doing onstage? You guessed it. Eating hamburgers and talking! "How much is the hamburger budget for this production?" I wondered. "It would be cheaper if they had just bought a whole cow and ground it up themselves."

Now, you and I both know that legendary director and boy wonder Shade Murray isn't just going to let this sitting around continue forever. He loves action and movement, and this work is no different. Without spoiling anymore of the play for you, let me tell you this: There are guns and blood and kissing and action and it all comes to an enthralling conclusion that will leave you gasping with delight and stir up a round of vigorous applause from your friends and lovers!

The performances in this show are the reason to go. Caroline Neff, once again saves a long first act by being girly and wearing an apron. She understands pace and tone better than most which if you didn't know, is WAY more important than "Being good at acting" (which she also is). Knowing how to carry a show is really a special skill that you don't find a lot in Chicago and Neff can do it, and that's why she is Storefront Prom Queen lately.

Shane Kenyon and Paul Fagen play the football player and the creep, respectively. Kenyon has a manly and somehow dark quality to him that you don't see a lot and is refreshing to see onstage and Fagen plays a possible pedophile with grace and dignity. OH! You know who Fagen's character reminds me of? The Shakespeare actor guy who is always eating eggs in "Bus Stop". You all did that play in college, right?

Good. Don't do it as a grown up because that play is stupid.

Jamie Vann leads the gang of criminals as the exceptional Duke Manteeth. A man with nothing to lose and a learned patience that is admirable. Vann always makes interesting choices that, as an actor, I enjoy because even when he plays bad guys or dads or whatever, he is very trustworthy or something. He has a quality to connect with others onstage and make them understand his objectives. I want to paint him.

John Moran and Adam Shalzi as grown up 'Our Gang' Members With Guns are very scary and nice to see together. These guys really love hamburgers.

There are so many standouts in the show that it is hard to even say they standout, because if everyone is good, then how do you know?

BUT, I loved Jim Poole and Janice O'Neil as some old fashioned rich guys and Mark Pracht as a construction worker or something.

Murray knows how to move lots of people around stage and how to build tension, however patient you need to be for it to happen. It will happen, by God and you will love it when it does.

Go out and see this!
Strawdog does cool stuff!



A+


-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach

The State of the Broadway Musical (Paul Oakley Stovall)

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Chicago has bred many incredible talents that are making their way to the world stage, but one man's light shines brighter than the other lights from other people. His name is Paul Oakley Stovall. He is known as a director, actor, playwright, composer, dancer, fry cook, and activist and he is the real fucking deal.

If you haven't seen him in a show at Steppenwolf or seen a play he wrote at the Goodman, then you have probably seen him in the national tour of Rent.

We had a chance to meet Paul and listen to an essay he wrote recently at The Paper Machete one afternoon, and we asked him if he wouldn't mind letting us throw his essay up on the website, and he not only obliged, he also gave us both kisses.

Here is Paul Oakley Stovall's unedited essay on the state of the Broadway Musical:

EXTRA EXTRA HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS(IES)? BULLETS take a LEAP OF FAITH with SPIDERMAN over the ANIMAL HOUSE on BROADWAY...ONCE. i feel like i’ve just seen a GHOST.

yes, it’s true. another crop of wonderful movies are ready to bore (or are already boring) you to death as broadway musicals. or piss you off. or drive you to pills and booze. or MAYBE encourage someone to ...gasp... come up with an original idea and write and original musical...with original music even!!

don’t hold your breath.

over the past few years we’ve been assaulted with Legally Blonde, The Wedding Singer, The Little Mermaid, Jekyll and Hyde (which is possibly coming back with Constantine Maroulis of American Idol fame--more on that later), The Color Purple (oh the colored people), How the Grinch Stole Broadway, er, Christmas, Wonderland (wonder why land), Big, Mary Poppins, Hairspray and the Lion King, to name, sadly, just a few.

We could throw in Wicked, Seussical and Spamalot, as they are based on source material....exquisite source material.

To be fair, now and then, this rejiggering of a hit film or not such a hit film can work. Beauty and the Beast is faithful to the story and wonderful for kids. But it was kind of a musical already. Victor/Victoria is another example that comes to mind. however it was set in a musical milieu. the STUFF was already there.

But the jukebox musical--Good Vibrations anyone? All Shook Up? -- and the film “adaptation”, or rather reduction, is becoming the norm, while the BROADWAY MUSICAL, could you feel the all caps in the way that was said?, is an American art form. an original american art form. one of the few that we can really claim... why is it being tossed away? why are we more interested in developing Sleepless in Seattle the musical? yes, that’s happening. the two leads don’t see each other until the end...and yet there is confusion as to why the workshops are fizzling...oy.

Whose bright idea was it to make CATCH ME IF YOU CAN into a Broadway musical?!?!

Leave me alone! I’m not interested in catching you. Stay in hiding. Or better yet, stay on celluloid, where a film like that had a least modest success in what it was aiming for.

So whose idea was it?

it was the idea of someone who wanted to make money. it was the idea of someone who was falling right in line with those who now see dollar signs rather than rallying cries of social change when they think of this pure American art form called the Broadway musical.

The new American musical, created lately by artists like Stew, a tony award winner for his book of Passing Strange, or the revered Tony Kushner, who, with Jeanine Tesori, created Caroline, or Change are sadly few and far between these days. And when we do get something original, the best of them, usually don’t make it to the big time, to make room for.....13....about a bunch of 13 year olds.....singing about....things that 13 year olds care about....but not written by 13 year olds....which could be interesting.

However, artists like Stew and Kushner and Tesori are pushing the form forward...now admittedly, neither of those aforementioned projects turned a profit BUT Caroline has had an extremely healthy regional life and Stew is prolifically creating new projects. That’s neither here nor there. The argument that is thrown out is that, “Hey, we gotta make money! And we gotta give the people what they want!” pfft. the people don’t know what they want. they know that they want to be ENTERTAINED! let me say that again. they want to be ENTERTAINED. and not by the latest American Idol runner up. See Maroulis. Or Diana DeGarmo, or Ace what’shisname, or....yeah.

SHREK the musical, sorry Jeanine, ain’t it. It might illicit some silly giggles... but true entertainment includes an enriching of the soul, a lifting of the spirit, a challenge to the brain, a massaging of the heart. 9 to 5? Young Frankenstein? Xanadu? High Fidelity? Urban Cowboy? Chitty Chitty Gang Bang, Bang Bang? Those films were just fine the way they were. Entertaining classics that spoke to their genre in a very specific way. But Gone With the Wind, the musical? That ain’t it kid. That ain’t it kid. Give me A Chorus Line. Carousel, Gypsy, Porgy and Bess, South Pacific, Avenue Q, Ragtime, Anything Goes, RENT...but Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown almost made me have one....

This lack of effort really, on the part of producers to seek out original material, on the part of artists to insist on bringing original and CURRENT and POLITICALLY RELEVANT material to the table, and on the part of the general public, the consumer, to demand better quality material--and frankly, to say, “hey, I already love Animal House, it’s a classic; i can recite every line in Bullets Over Broadway; Desperately Seeking Susan ain’t Shakespeare but it’s quirky and perfect just as it is-- this, my friends, this signals a malaise that frankly goes deeper than the rash that accompanies the news that Footloose and Flashdance are being developed for the Great White Way.

FIlm is not a literary medium. It doesn’t want lots of words...and rarely does it want songs....and even rarer does it need a dance number.

Fixing this will take a digging in of the heels. The great work begins. The American Musical represents something purely american and it should be protected and nurtured and brought back to life....like the White House garden.

-Paul Oakley Stovall

An Open Letter To David Mamet (Carm Grisolia)

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Dear Dave,
Hi!  How have youbeen?  I'm ok, all thingsconsidered.  But the old constructionbusiness has been a little tricky for the last little bit.  Seems like it's getting harder to earn aliving off of working with your hands, you know?  You know.  The wife and kids are doing pretty goodeventhough money is tight.  I keeptelling myself we will make it back into the middle-class someday.  I'm prolly wrong.  Hey, that's one of your words, right?  “Prolly.” Like the way real people say, “probably.”  Well, if it's not, it should be.  Because you're so fucking real.
Hey, speaking of  “sofucking real,” is your show still running over there at Goodman?  I haven't had a chance, because, you know--“weight of the world” and “gas prices” all that.   And anyways, I was supposed to see it and doa review or whatever, but I figured I'm pretty real myself.  So I prolly didn't really need to see it.  It's like with your one book you wrote--  I just borrowed it from some asshole and justlooked at the dust cover.  Never read it,never returned it.  Guy was an assholeanyways, right? 
But the point is-- I got your point from the cover or whatother people said on the cover or whatever. I didn't need to read it, because guys like you and me-- realfucking guys-- understand each other. It's like there's a beautiful fucking power in simple-- like guys likeus drink from the same, or deeply, or whatever. 
And then, lightbulb goes off and I realize that  the whole, it seems trite or, but “judge abook by it's cover” is like your whole thing, right?  So the point you prolly make in Raceis that black people are black people and white people are white people andthat's all we need to know-- what we can tell from looking at them, becausethat's all we know anyways, right?  Imean, am I right?  We already know whatwe need to know by looking at the cover. And then some of the books we decide to read for some reason, and thenwe like them or we don't.  But it doesn'treally change our opinion of books in general. Which are mostly pretty stupid and self-centered.  And even some of the good ones get burned, ifyou follow me.  You follow me.
So nice try, Buddyboy, but I don't need to see it now toknow that it's prolly got some upper class black people and some upper classwhite people, and some lower-class of each color, and there's prolly a bunch ofprejudice and mistrust on both parts and some kind of disagreement or conflictover possession of some valuable thing, or some alleged crime that happened wayin the past, which will give all parties concerned a chance to deliver a rantthat has a lot of anger and a few kernels of truth as they say, and everyonewho sees it will see their own opinion represented, except it doesn't reallymatter because no one will change their mind over it.  Cool. That would make a pretty good play-- even in the hands of some randomasshole, performed by any bunch of self-loathing assholes for any bunch ofpretentious snobs.
But this ain't just random assholes and snobs.  You are David Mamet and this is TheGoodman.  Performing words that soundjust like the words real people say written by a Treasure of the AmericanTheater and tackling an incendiary topic with stunning authenticity for an  audience of lakefront liberals least-likelyto be affected by the themes of this masterpiece anywhere at any time.  But relevant, all the way to the bank, am Iright?  In fact, it is so jaw-droppinglyrelevant that the Goodman didn't even need to set it on the moon during theNazi occupation of France and cast some hot, young white chick as The GrizzledOld Negro Who Works in the Governor's Mansion, like they have to do with thatShakespeare bullshit.  Relevance,Edginess, Rich People.  This formulacauses such a surefire nuclear explosion of a hit that this reviewer doesn'teven need to see it to know it's an instant classic.
And that is why I am giving your show, Race at theGoodman, 12 out of 12 stars.  My highestrating.  One real-life guy to another.
So I guess that's my review, in case I don't get around toseeing it or if it already closed.  Nicejob again, Bro.  And hey, not fornothing, but how about dropping one of these “relevant” solid-gold turds on anactual storefront theater with real people performing at it once inawhile?  Remember how you used to? Whenyou were real?

Stay Real,
Carm Grisolia

Johnny Theatre (Gang of Actors/CIC)

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Being an actor in Chicago storefront theater is HARD, bros.  You graduate from college, make your way up here, get cast in a few things, and then blam...14 years of work that no one saw, 14 years of office day jobs or waiting tables or barista gigs, 14 years of not having a car, 14 years of terrible winters, 14 years of trying trying trying and feeling like you have been both blessed and cursed at the same time.

Most people would never ever do this.  They would look at the long hours and lousy compensation and say, "I think a business degree is in order, or maybe I'll look into becoming an electrician."  But...at the same time, there is the visceral thrill of it, the people that came into your life that are now your family, and the indescribable feeling of working on something really really good and knowing that it can be worth it.

Well, leave it to Mike Beyer and Kirk Pynchon to laugh in your face regarding every good thing you've accomplished!  Their new show Johnny Theatre is up and running over at Chemically Imbalanced Comedy on Irving Park and Southport, and it is a send-up of the Chicago storefront scene done with a loving touch and a dirty tweak to your bottom!

The set-up is classic comedy...Johnathan Duva, a big-time movie star and Hollywood player, has written a script and now wants to return to his former stomping grounds, the dirty little Havoc Theater in Chicago to produce his masterwork.  He promises a gritty, storefront masterpiece, that should "kick theater right in the nuts!"  Well, of course, this is all news to the current Havoc staff including Artistic Director Dana Proudfit.  She's been in charge of the Havoc for a dozen years, and has a relationship with Duva from the old days.  Well, let me tell you, the sparks FLY!

Johnathan is portrayed by my work-wife Anderson Lawfer, and all of Andy's formidable tools are at his disposal.  Duva is a character that you LOVE to hate, and his madness and "L.A." -ness will drive you up a wall, especially if you've ever had to work with a diva who thought his poop did not smell.  It's a captivating and funny performance, and Lawfer shows some serious balls in taking on this horrible, horrible douchebag and making you want to watch him for 2 hours.  That's a lot to ask of an audience, but Andy pulls it off with aplomb!

Also full of aplomb is Casey Pilkenton as Dana Proudfit.  Every wacky comedy needs a straight man, someone with whom the audience can relate to as the rock amidst the currents of this crazy band of lunatics.  Casey grounds her character with the wisdom and hangdog defeatism of someone who has worked too hard for too long with not much to show for it.  Her slow-burns are a wonder, and her explosions at Johnathan are legendary.  The chemistry between her and Lawfer is great stuff.  Off stage romance?  Hmmmm?  You heard it here first!

And the cast is rounded out by some wonderful young and hungry actors.  The perky Lauren Bourke, the handsome Alexandria Frenkel, the cutie pie Dante Bugli, and the hilarious Alison Clayton are just some of whom I will mention.  The rest are all very good, and game for anything!  I love watching sweet young things doing theater...it makes me yearn for another time.  The 1890s, actually.  I want to go to the 1890s and do a show with the cast of Johnny Theatre.  Maybe a revue with dancing girls!

The show is great fun, and the laughs keep on coming!  I will say this...the show is too long.  And I'd like you all to skip ahead a paragraph, except for Mike and Kirk.

Dear Mike & Kirk,

Great writing job, guys!  Now, do you remember the film Caddyshack?  Of course you do, how could you forget that classic comedy!  Now, what is the thing you remember about the plot of Caddyshack?  It involved a guy named Danny who was a caddy at a hoity-toity country club.  The club is lorded over by Judge Smails (the incomparable Ted Knight), an asshole blue-blood of the first degree.  Here's something that is true about many, many comedies that people have forgotten.  I liked when Danny won in the end, but I don't care about that.  What I liked MOST was that Judge Smails was PUBLICLY HUMILIATED AND RUINED.  The high-status guy being brought so very low is a component of many comedies.  This dates back to ancient times (Oedipus Rex).  When I go see a comedy, it is a choice to escape from my problems for a bit.  In that time period, I want to see someone like Johnathan Duva crucified because I work for assholes like him every day.  I think the next time you write a script, you should watch Caddyshack, Stripes, and Trading Places marathon-style and then start skyping and typing.  You will have a better idea of how to end the script that will be cathartic and funny for your audience!  Have a great day, guys!

Eric

Ok, everyone back?  Cool!  Listen, go see Johnny Theater!  It is a funny and knowing satire!  What the hell else will you do with yourselves?

Regular Folks: B
Chicago Storefront Actors: A-

-Eric Roach, Anderson Lawfer

Funemployed's Sunday Funday Fundraiser

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The absolute truth of it is this: I decided to go to Funemployed's party at Friar Tuck's because I knew I wanted to get out of the house.

Getting out is kind of difficult these days, being a new dad and all.  A run to Target is like teleporting to a new beautiful world of air conditioning and Icees.  Coming to work is a lovely respite to reading the first page of Goodnight Moon for the 64th time.  So, a Sunday afternoon/evening at Friar Tuck's with a keg of beer and a few pals sounded like a voyage on the high seas to Sri Lanka.  I was, indubitably, pumped.

Now, I know of Funemployed through Ted Evans, who is a nice and funny and handsome man.  If you don't know about Funemployed, let me explain it this way.  YouTube was created in 2005 by three nerds who were having trouble sharing their videos of Dungeons & Dragons sessions or whatever.  This is the absolute first video ever posted to YouTube, "Me at the Zoo."


Yep...these 19 seconds are a gateway to the new world we exist in now.  You can find oodles of entertainment on YouTube, DailyMotion, Vimeo, and plenty of others.  You can get to these on your computers, tablets, phones, game consoles, etc.  We live in a future of not worrying about TV and cutting the cable cord because we now can easily find what we want, when we want it.  Well, you need to start wanting THIS:


Funemployed is a smart, funny web series written by and starring Ted Evans, Kate Carson-Groner, Michael Lippert, Dan Hale, and Alex Harris.  This is a hilarious, well-shot, well-directed, well-edited programme.  Don't hesitate, subscribe or die.

Back to the party...now admittedly, I was the old guy at this shindig.  But, from my perch at the bar, I was able to see an inordinate amount of gorgeous people doing things single people do.  But, what I got out of it mostly was a sense of being on a tipping point of something big.  This is a group of folks who obviously have people excited about what they do.  I mean, I am and I'm nearly a fossil to most of these guys.  I also must say...ladies, not all of you can have bad eyes.  What the hell is going on with accessory glasses?  This is a thing now...glasses that just sit on your face, not doing anything important.  Oh well, it's pretty cute I suppose.  I wore leather pants just after college for almost 6 months, so I get it brahs. 

I also called a QR Code a QI Code and was corrected by the prettiest girl there.  It made me happy to be alive.

The crew have made something special, and you should check out the episodes and extras they have on their site.  Wish them luck, buy a DVD, do something.  Retweet this shit, tumblr it, post it on a BBS, I don't care.  Most importantly, be aware that the 3rd Season of Funemployed is coming soon.  This is the new trailer.  Hold on to your comedy pants!


I suggest keeping track of Funemployed.  They're right on the edge, they use real Chicago actors and fantastic Chicago locations, and have a blast to boot.  One suggestion to the guys...tweet to your followers when you are heading out for a night on the town.  Somebody'll show up...like maybe an old dad looking to get out of the house.

Funemployed Sunday Funday Fundraiser: A- (didn't win Barbershop & Barbershop 2 in the raffle...sad face)

-Eric Roach, Anderson Lawfer

How To Treat A Playwright In Chicago (Randall Colburn)

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                                                     Even August Wilson rewrote his boring plays


As a playwright, I work on a lot of new plays. Mainly myown, since the plays I write are usually new. I’m not the kind of playwrightwho goes to rehearsals constantly. It’s important to let the director,designers, and actors do their thing without some scarf-ensconced assholehanging around, smoking his pipe, and sighing resignedly when you mess up aline. When I am there, though, it’s easy to feel like an alien, especially instorefront theater, where many actors and directors haven’t had the chance towork closely with a playwright and the limited resources have the potential tohinder the creative process through sheer practicalities.
As a means of introduction to fringe-dwellers interested inworking on a new play with a playwright in the room, I’ve compiled this handyguide. I hope it helps.
(Addendum: Aside from my own experience in the storefrontcommunity, I haven’t done, like, research or anything, and I do not presume tospeak for other writers. When I say playwright, I mean me, though I don’t feelI’m too off-center here.)
1          We’re going to rewrite.
Though it may seem like a load off your shoulders at first,if you’re working on a new play where the playwright is present in therehearsal room and is not rewriting, or not at least fine-tuning, you’re probably fucked.
On the regular, though, it’s going to happen. So don’t tryto stop us. It doesn’t matter how much work we’ve done on the play beforerehearsals. When rehearsals start, and actors start saying our words andstumbling over our words and walking around with our words coming out of theirmouths, things are going to start changing. It isn’t because we don’t like you,or don’t feel like you’re doing a good job, it’s because making a play is likebuilding a spice rack: you don’t know how crooked the shelves are until you tryand put a bunch of spice jars on them. Give us the space to straighten thoseshelves so you guys don’t fall all over yourselves and spill spice everywhere.Spice. Metaphor. Yay.
Now, the playwright may tell you beforehand: “Ya know, I’mfeeling really good about it. I doubt I’ll do that much, really.”
That’s a lie. I say that shit all the time, and I’m alwayswrong. My play HESPERIA had already had a well-recieved production at RightBrain Project before it opened at Writers’ Theatre, and I still rewrote thewhole damn thing.
So never trust a word the playwright says when it comes tothem being finished. They’re not. They never will be. And since that’s thecase…
2          Give us a deadline.
And be vigilant about it, dammit. Make it a week or twoweeks before tech. That’s usually good.
Some people use the word “cement.”
“We should cement the script by that point.”
All that should mean is no more big changes. No new scenes,no new characters, no new tech. Fine-tuning never stops. Stop worrying aboutyour actors. If your actors are professionals, they can handle it. So, actors,on that note…
3           Embrace the fact that you’ll be memorizing,unmemorizing, and rememorizing things constantly.
We’re probably going to cut all your favorite lines, addones you don’t like, cut those, add others, and end up with some amalgamationof it all. Embrace it. You’re part of a living, gestating piece of art. That’sexciting, even when it isn’t, and it’s a damn good skill set to have.  Along those same lines, keep a binder,dammit. And replace old pages with new ones. Don’t put the new ones in thatpocket in the front. You’ll forget. You always forget. Which leads me to mynext point:
4          Get access to a free printer.
Working on rewrites during HESPERIA rehearsals at Writers’Theatre was a revelation for me. Why? Two reasons:
a       Bobby Kennedy b       Writers’ Theatre has their own printer
See, Bobby Kennedy is their literary associate, and a printer prints stuff. SoBobby did the printing, which he was happy to do since that’s part of hisfull-time job. And their printer printed stuff really quickly because it’s abig printer. They even printed each set of rewrites in a different color, so wecould keep track! The best part of it all: I didn’t have to do it, pay for it,or hide it from my bosses at Groupon.
But that’s rare in the storefront scene. I’ve done about 10shows on the fringe where I didn’t have direct access to Bobby Kennedy and hismagical, multicolored printer. We print from our piddly desk printers, orcovertly do it at work, or go to Screenz and pay stupid amounts of money.
And all of that is fine. Just have a plan in place. You’regoing to have to print a lot of pages, get them organized, and hand them out toactors. Speaking of actors, make your damn actors do it themselves. We’re allin this together.  Have a printing plan.Or make it part of the budget. If it’s a new play, it’s necessary. Believe me.
Oh, and don’t waste copies on the playwright. We always haveour laptops. Unless we don’t. I always do. Whatever. As for us playwrights…
5         Ask, don’t tell.
Talking to us can be hard. We know. We know that you knowthat we put our blood and guts into this play, and we want you to know that weknow that it’s hard for you to bring concerns to us, as you don’t want tooffend us, or make us feel unloved. But we DO want you to bring concerns to us,because clearly we respect you and your opinion enough to be working with you.BUT, we are also fragile, sensitive creatures who put our blood and guts intothis play, and if you tell us our play isn’t perfect we’ll probably go home andcry a lot. To offset this, do us this favor:
Don’t tell us what’s wrong with our play.
Please, don’t say:
“I don’t think my character would do this.”or“I think the ending is contrived.”or “I think you suck.”
Instead, ask us questions.
But please, don’t ask questions like:
“What the hell does this mean?”or  “Why do you hate women?”or “Who do you think you are?”
Ask us what wewere thinking when we wrote a certain scene. Or why we feel this monologue is important. Or why we chose to dedicate ourselves to writing instead of somethingmore wholesome, like, say, baseball.
Make us explain ourselves. If we don’t have an answer, we’llprobably get where you’re coming from, because you’ve so cleverly let usdiscover your own concern on our own. Any tension or discomfort has beenevaded, because the prickly playwright figured it out his or herself. Speakingof preserving the relationship between director and playwright, and preservingthat relationship is important…
6. Have a game plan.
Playwrights can be hella distracting, especially if you givethem free reign. I don’t shut the fuck up. It’s awful. In college, when myfirst play was produced I mouthed along with the words during rehearsal. I wassuch a little asshole. Combat this by laying the ground rules. Here’s ones Iwould recommend:
* The playwright only speaks in rehearsal if asked a directquestion. * The playwright filters all of his or her thoughts througha director or dramaturg. * The playwright sends all rewrites to the director ordramaturg before disseminating to the cast. * The director keeps the playwright in the loop with anymajor updates. * Nobody bangs each other until the show’s open. 

-Randall Colburn

Catch Randall's play "The Improv Play"

Johnny Theatre (Chemically Imbalanced Comedy)

To contact us Click HERE





We all know LA is full of vapid, empty shallow people whowould push their mothers off a cliff for a two-line part in a terriblepilot.  Chicago, on the other hand, isfull of true artistes that work together with an ensemble approach that, ifgiven the chance, would settle the strife and misery of the world in shortorder.  With Meisner. Also, LA is where all the really good actors go to do real workwith all the other great actors that are beloved by all the world.   Chicago is where those that aren’t goodenough basically make pretentious, -important ‘plays’ that were really edgy in1954.  Or were big hits OFF-OFf-offBroadway a few years ago.
In Johnny Theatre, now playing at the Chemically ImbalancedTheater, we find out what happens when these two worlds collide and let me tellyou gentle readers, it ain’t pretty.  Butit is funny, so you can laugh through your tears. I know I did.   Whether you are a Chicago actor or an LA actor this play hassomething to make you feel superior and pathetic about yourself.  Everybody wins! Ish!
The play stars Chicago’s answer to Zach Galifianakis,Anderson Lawfer, as a big movie star guy (Jonathon Duva) that comes back to hisold theatre company to stage his terrible play. The company is broke and going nowhere, so of course they agree. But LA people are assholes, even when they buy you dinner,so the rehearsal process doesn’t go very well.
If you have ever been in a storefront theatre production,you will see a lot of crazy things that are kind of sad because it’s reallypretty much like that.   Treading theline between the outrageous  and outrageouslyaccurate, Mike Beyer and Kirk Pynchon pull offa pretty neat trick.
Early on we meet the cast of the Duva’s play:Dexter (a stoned Dante Bugli) is that slack-ass actor thatnever have his shit together, is always late, but will probably get a JeffNomination and a national commercial. Richard (a mustached Arne Saupe) the ‘old pro’ that is onlydoing this show at such a ‘small’ company because he wants to get as close tothe movie star as possible.  Holly  (a neatly groomed Alison Clayton ) is theactress that is convinced that everyone wants to bang her.  Ray (a caleby Caleb Probst) is plays that really sweet guyin the cast that decides at the first read through that you and him are goingto be best pals and will never leave you alone.Stage Manager Phil (a thank you 5 minutes Bryan Beckwith) isthe long suffering poor sap that has to wrangle these poor souls. Elizabeth (a not in the boat Lauren Bourke) is that pooractress that a director can tell is so eager to please that they always totallyfuck with her.Kathi (a $50 stipendly Alexandria Frenkel) is theintern.  I think you can guess what Duvadoes to her. And Artistic Director Dana (a level-headed, devoted, overworked, underpaid Casey Pilkenton) isthe level-headed, devoted, over worked, underpaid Artistic Director that we allknow and should have empathy for.   
And the you will be surprised at how nice and understandingthe landlord of the theatre turns out to be! Dana and Bob the landlord (a dashing Chicago Residential Landlord TenantOrdinance Michael Derting.)
So you’ve got the diluted Hollywood actor and this cast offamiliar Chicago theatre types.  The playbeing produced is a musical that takes place in the Depression called‘Dusty’.   The premise of ‘Dusty’ isridiculous and yet it is as good, or better then a lot of what you will see insomeone’s 2012/2013 season brochure.   
Representing LA is (fair toothed) Catherine Dildiian as aperma-smile Hollywood reporter and (beautifully headbanded) Ray Ready playsDuva’s ever jogging assistant withpanache, style and gayness.  In the 2^nd act we meet the new French directorGeorge (a surrender-ly Adam Schulmerich) and we know this project isdoomed.  Let’s face it; the one thingthat will always sink a Chicago off-loop production is a French person.
I think that is really the lesson here.  As hard as it is to mix the divergent worldsof Big Shouldered Chicago and Big Everything Los Angeles there is one thing wecan all agree on.  The French areterrible. 
As a consumer advocate I would suggest you go see this playif you’ve ever been in, produced, seen or know someone involved in a storefronttheatre production.
17 stars! 

-Michael Dailey

Rise Of The Numberless (The New Colony and Bailiwick Chicago)

To contact us Click HERE



True Story:
A few years ago, while I was moving, I lost my Social Security card and passport. All I had was my expired driver's license. So when I went to the DMV to get it renewed, they ripped it up in my face and told me that it was illegal to have it. So there I was with 0 identification. I went to get a Social Security card and they told me I needed a photo ID. I went to get a photo ID and they told me I needed a Social Security card.
They told me my one hope to get back into regular society was to get a copy of my high school transcripts sent up form Kentucky, but when I asked for them, the lady on the phone asked me to fax over a copy of my photo id.
So, I went to my Alderman and explained my situation. After about 2 weeks of checking, they told me there was nothing they could do, and that I was on my own.
For 2 years, I lived with no identification besides a birth certificate, because there is no way to receive one piece of paper without having another.
Eventually, I discovered a law that was made for people born in the early 1900's in Mississippi. You see, in a small region of Mississippi, all the old records were held in a church and about 20 years ago, there was a fire. That fire destroyed many people's original birth certificates making it impossible for them to get passports. So Congress passed a law allowing for you to go to a post office and fill out about 10 pieces of paper and take along someone who has known you for more than 5 years who is willing to swear to your identity, and then you can get on a list for possible approval for a passport. But that is the only way. Well, when I explained this to the lady at the post office, she of course had never heard of this law and told me to kindly go fuck myself.
On my second visit, I arrived with papers and mother ready to not take no for an answer. She was persuaded to allow it, after many calls to passport headquarters.
3 years I lived without ID. Off the grid. 3 years of being numberless.

There is an original play going on right now in Chicago by BoxWine Theatre Company called "Rise Of The Numberless: The Anderson Lawfer Story". It is mainly about my rise. It is pretty good, but I am not sure how they got this information from me. Well, I was watching it, and everyone is pretty good in it, but then on the bus ride home, I was flipping through the Red Eye and I heard about  whole separate play in town called "Rise Of The Numberless" which apparently had nothing to do with the play about me at all!

Well, this I had to see!

Rise Of The Numberless is co-produced by 2 extremely popular companies in town. The New Colony, known for their devised work and college kid go-get-em-ness and The Bailiwick Chicago, known to us older gentlemen as a place for straight guys to get naked on stage for gay guys. I don't think Bailiwick is like that anymore, but let us never forget our past lest we repeat it.

This play is about this group of roustabouts and tramps who cruise through the USA telling their story of how they became these vagrant bums.

Turns out, they live in the future where there is a one child law. Except instead of penalizing the parents, like how they do in China, they penalize the kids by sending them down the river like Moses. But these Moseses don't become Kings of Jews or build any arks. These Moseses play rock and roll music and bang each other like high schoolers!

NOW THAT'S MY KIND OF MOSES!

See, all the regular people have these computer chips in their arms, and that is how you know who is legit and who isn't, because this gang of Walkalongs don't have any chips. They got nothing but the shirts on their backs and the glam rock makeup on their faces.

Now we learn that there are groups, or "pods" of numberless people all over the country but we stay with the Washington DC Pod for the whole show. I wish we got to see other pods, because I bet the Catskills Pod wears big bowties and tells old jokes. I bet the Branson Pod gets a lot of visitors with their Jesus loving country music shows!

But this DC Pod is ok, too.

So, this pod has been accused of assassinating the President of the United States, I think. Or they were accused? No, I think they are accused of it. So they are trying to get their story out to the masses that they aren't terrorists, but rather, your brothers and sisters. They are part of your family and all they want is to see you again and be loved. Also, they want to sing in tight harmonies and put on plays!

Now, I am a big fan of The Temptations and The Four Tops, and I have to tell you that if you are going to spend all this time on your tight harmonies, it wouldn't kill you to add a few dance moves. You know who else has dance moves with their tight harmonies? The Detroit Pod.

The music in this show is great. It's a little bit Hedwig, a little bit Dark Side Pink Floyd, and a little bit Scissor Sisters. Basically, it's everything you want to hear.



It was written by some dude with a ponytail and this lady I think. They can't give you press packets because they are on the run from the law, but I saw those 2 people there, so I will assume they wrote it.

The cast is supreme. All of them can sing, and they move around the way you want a cast to move. They work as a group, like a recently oiled, grubby, post apocalyptic clock.

Since there were no names for the actors in the program, I will have to do my best with telling you whom I thought were stand outs.

The incredible Nikki Klix plays the stage manager of the show, I think? But she is also an actor in the show within the show, too. She has the best hair for rocking. Her voice soars like a California Condor above the bleak desert in California. The frightful Mexican wrestler-ish Aaron Alonso plays this guy with a top hat that that is very watchable, mainly because you always want to keep track of your belongings around Mexicans, but also because he as this super live energy that is fun and playful. It is very important to be playful in times like these.

There is also the trifecta of excitement with Michael Peters as an ex-football star, Danny Taylor as a white lipped Temptress, and Michael Harnichar as a guy who is maybe not real? I'm not sure what the story was with him. I think his character is only in someone's imagination or something. He was good, though, real or not.

If you get caught up wondering about the story, you will lose track of what is so cool about this show. It is total immersion, from the moment you walk to the building till the time you leave.

This is what Chicago Theatre is supposed to be. Gritty, punkrock, in your face, Guerilla style Art that makes your hair stand up on your neck and your balls shrink up into your abdomen. Or your vagina.

I loved it because it made me inspired.

I felt like I saw something that was new and interesting and arresting.

We all need to see and perform in shows like this, so we don't forget why we decided to join this stupid industry in the first place.

They have booze there, too.


A++


-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach 

  









 

ALL GIRL MOBY DICK - The Chicago Mammals EXCLUSIVE ANNOUNCEMENT

To contact us Click HERE

Listen up.

The Chicago Mammals are ready to freak your brain out.  They are born and bred to blow your shit out of your ass and do things on stage that will make your peehole pucker up.  You'll wonder why they haven't taken over the Chicago storefront scene.  But then you realize...THEY HAVE.

ALL GIRL MOBY DICK.  Let's talk about that title.  Pure brilliance, because it makes you get your ass into the theater.  But this isn't some lame burlesque show based on Frogger.  This is a troupe of women who can act their asses off.  You forget that they are girls, and just get into their characters, who happen to be dudes.  Doesn't matter.

But let's be honest.  If this was a show called MOBY DICK, and just had a bunch of dudes in it I would have never ever ever seen it and just stayed home and watched Captain America again, because that movie rules.

Erin Orr as Ishmael lures you in with her tortured monologues.  Christy Arington as Stubb is the dirtiest, scariest scalywag this side of The Corsican Brothers.  But then there's Amy FUCKING Harmon as Ahab.  This is a tour de force performance.  Her maniacal pursuit of the white whale infects everything she touches with madness.  She destroys the stage.

John Wilson's minimal design uses every inch of the Mammals Zoo Studios and it is gorgeous and totally cray cray.  Bob Fisher's direction is raw and dangerous, and Fisher and Sara Gorsky's script is cut to the bone and gets to the heart of Melville's tale of tragic hubris.

Plus, Christopher Cross' "Sailing" appears on the pre-show soundtrack.

And guess what?  Here's the exclusive news:  THEY ARE ADDING SHOWS.

These are the remaining dates:

Friday and Saturday May 18th and 19th
Friday and Saturday May 25th and 26th
Friday and Saturday June 1st and 2nd
Friday and Saturday June 8th and 9th

All performances are at 8pm – BYOB

Zoo Studios4001 N. Ravenswood Ave Ste 205Chicago, IL 60613

If you don't see this show, then you are a real jerk.  Don't be a jerk!

See some original theater!  Stop wasting your life!

All Girl Moby Dick - A (for ALL HOT ASS GREAT ACTOR GIRLS)

-Eric Roach, Anderson Lawfer

Funemployed's Sunday Funday Fundraiser

To contact us Click HERE
The absolute truth of it is this: I decided to go to Funemployed's party at Friar Tuck's because I knew I wanted to get out of the house.

Getting out is kind of difficult these days, being a new dad and all.  A run to Target is like teleporting to a new beautiful world of air conditioning and Icees.  Coming to work is a lovely respite to reading the first page of Goodnight Moon for the 64th time.  So, a Sunday afternoon/evening at Friar Tuck's with a keg of beer and a few pals sounded like a voyage on the high seas to Sri Lanka.  I was, indubitably, pumped.

Now, I know of Funemployed through Ted Evans, who is a nice and funny and handsome man.  If you don't know about Funemployed, let me explain it this way.  YouTube was created in 2005 by three nerds who were having trouble sharing their videos of Dungeons & Dragons sessions or whatever.  This is the absolute first video ever posted to YouTube, "Me at the Zoo."


Yep...these 19 seconds are a gateway to the new world we exist in now.  You can find oodles of entertainment on YouTube, DailyMotion, Vimeo, and plenty of others.  You can get to these on your computers, tablets, phones, game consoles, etc.  We live in a future of not worrying about TV and cutting the cable cord because we now can easily find what we want, when we want it.  Well, you need to start wanting THIS:


Funemployed is a smart, funny web series written by and starring Ted Evans, Kate Carson-Groner, Michael Lippert, Dan Hale, and Alex Harris.  This is a hilarious, well-shot, well-directed, well-edited programme.  Don't hesitate, subscribe or die.

Back to the party...now admittedly, I was the old guy at this shindig.  But, from my perch at the bar, I was able to see an inordinate amount of gorgeous people doing things single people do.  But, what I got out of it mostly was a sense of being on a tipping point of something big.  This is a group of folks who obviously have people excited about what they do.  I mean, I am and I'm nearly a fossil to most of these guys.  I also must say...ladies, not all of you can have bad eyes.  What the hell is going on with accessory glasses?  This is a thing now...glasses that just sit on your face, not doing anything important.  Oh well, it's pretty cute I suppose.  I wore leather pants just after college for almost 6 months, so I get it brahs. 

I also called a QR Code a QI Code and was corrected by the prettiest girl there.  It made me happy to be alive.

The crew have made something special, and you should check out the episodes and extras they have on their site.  Wish them luck, buy a DVD, do something.  Retweet this shit, tumblr it, post it on a BBS, I don't care.  Most importantly, be aware that the 3rd Season of Funemployed is coming soon.  This is the new trailer.  Hold on to your comedy pants!


I suggest keeping track of Funemployed.  They're right on the edge, they use real Chicago actors and fantastic Chicago locations, and have a blast to boot.  One suggestion to the guys...tweet to your followers when you are heading out for a night on the town.  Somebody'll show up...like maybe an old dad looking to get out of the house.

Funemployed Sunday Funday Fundraiser: A- (didn't win Barbershop & Barbershop 2 in the raffle...sad face)

-Eric Roach, Anderson Lawfer

Open Letter to Chicago Muse

To contact us Click HERE
Dear Dead Chicago Muse Theatre,

Let us be the first to say that we had never heard of you. So your untimely death meant absolutely nothing.

We’re pretty sure you were at the Theater Building, serving overpriced Miller Lites to people who thought they were seeing good shows.

Now, from what we understand, you had half a million dollars left in assets that you, in turn, gave to the RICHEST THEATER IN CHICAGO, upon your dissolution.

You gave 500k to Chicago Shakespeare Theatre. To do musicals. Original musicals. Do you know what that means? You paid Barbara Gaines salary for 2 years.

Now, please don’t get us wrong. We love Chicago Shakes. They pay actors better than anywhere else, and they employ more actors than anywhere else. That is a community based company that we can all be proud of, regardless what we think of the work.

HOWEVER...there are numerous small theater organizations in Chicago that are living month-to-month, unsure of their future, who do specialize in original musicals. Do you know that you could have given 50 grand to 10 of them? Do you even realize what that kind of donation would have done for the storefront community?

Think of it this way: You have a few buddies in town that have a great idea for a food truck business in Chicago. They have a great business plan. They make delicious tacos and cupcakes and kebabs and ribs tips. But instead of taking your $500,000 to help them get started, you give it all to Guy Fieri to make more butter flavored salsa for TGI Fridays.

And then you get out of the food business altogether and start working at Pfizer and unfriend your food truck pals on Facebook. And they have to go back to their jobs at Guy Fieri’s new chain “ED HARDY SHIRTS AND BURGERS.”

And if that is not enough. If that isn’t enough of an insult to everyone. If the whole city isn’t furiously angry at you yet. You decide to send out a press release to everyone saying what a “great thing” you just did for everyone. Now, we aren’t ones to overstep our boundaries or name call people who are just trying to do a great thing, but you guys... You guys are a bunch of fuckheads. Just like Guy Fieri.

So, while everyone is celebrating a 5-4 SCOTUS victory today by making sweet new Obama memes and fighting with their Republican fathers about what this means for America, let’s be sure to remember what giant assholes you guys were in your demise. Thanks for nothing.

So what can WE do? Well, here is our plan. As a community, we are going to write the most insane original musical that has ever been written. It will be awful and offensive and probably racist. And we are going to pool our money together and rent out Chicago Shakespeare Theater for one night and then we are going to perform it. And at the end, when Mitt Romney kills all the blacks and gays in a celebration of Lucifer himself, we will all look at the audience and say “Thank you for making this possible, Chicago Muse Theatre!” and then we will call each of you out by name and put your headshots that have had the mouths cut out around our dicks or vaginas and pretend that we are making sweet mouth love to your black and white heads.

And finally, we will have proven that we are the clear victors in this fight. Because nothing says victory more than blasting love juice all over someone’s graven image. Just ask Jehovah!

There is nothing else to say, except I hope whatever stupid original musical you are planning on taking to New York, where “important theatre” happens dies the death of that Paul Simon Caveman thing, and that you are stabbed outside the HotTix booth.

Love and rockets,

Eric Roach and Anderson Lawfer

Funemployed's Sunday Funday Fundraiser

To contact us Click HERE
The absolute truth of it is this: I decided to go to Funemployed's party at Friar Tuck's because I knew I wanted to get out of the house.

Getting out is kind of difficult these days, being a new dad and all.  A run to Target is like teleporting to a new beautiful world of air conditioning and Icees.  Coming to work is a lovely respite to reading the first page of Goodnight Moon for the 64th time.  So, a Sunday afternoon/evening at Friar Tuck's with a keg of beer and a few pals sounded like a voyage on the high seas to Sri Lanka.  I was, indubitably, pumped.

Now, I know of Funemployed through Ted Evans, who is a nice and funny and handsome man.  If you don't know about Funemployed, let me explain it this way.  YouTube was created in 2005 by three nerds who were having trouble sharing their videos of Dungeons & Dragons sessions or whatever.  This is the absolute first video ever posted to YouTube, "Me at the Zoo."


Yep...these 19 seconds are a gateway to the new world we exist in now.  You can find oodles of entertainment on YouTube, DailyMotion, Vimeo, and plenty of others.  You can get to these on your computers, tablets, phones, game consoles, etc.  We live in a future of not worrying about TV and cutting the cable cord because we now can easily find what we want, when we want it.  Well, you need to start wanting THIS:


Funemployed is a smart, funny web series written by and starring Ted Evans, Kate Carson-Groner, Michael Lippert, Dan Hale, and Alex Harris.  This is a hilarious, well-shot, well-directed, well-edited programme.  Don't hesitate, subscribe or die.

Back to the party...now admittedly, I was the old guy at this shindig.  But, from my perch at the bar, I was able to see an inordinate amount of gorgeous people doing things single people do.  But, what I got out of it mostly was a sense of being on a tipping point of something big.  This is a group of folks who obviously have people excited about what they do.  I mean, I am and I'm nearly a fossil to most of these guys.  I also must say...ladies, not all of you can have bad eyes.  What the hell is going on with accessory glasses?  This is a thing now...glasses that just sit on your face, not doing anything important.  Oh well, it's pretty cute I suppose.  I wore leather pants just after college for almost 6 months, so I get it brahs. 

I also called a QR Code a QI Code and was corrected by the prettiest girl there.  It made me happy to be alive.

The crew have made something special, and you should check out the episodes and extras they have on their site.  Wish them luck, buy a DVD, do something.  Retweet this shit, tumblr it, post it on a BBS, I don't care.  Most importantly, be aware that the 3rd Season of Funemployed is coming soon.  This is the new trailer.  Hold on to your comedy pants!


I suggest keeping track of Funemployed.  They're right on the edge, they use real Chicago actors and fantastic Chicago locations, and have a blast to boot.  One suggestion to the guys...tweet to your followers when you are heading out for a night on the town.  Somebody'll show up...like maybe an old dad looking to get out of the house.

Funemployed Sunday Funday Fundraiser: A- (didn't win Barbershop & Barbershop 2 in the raffle...sad face)

-Eric Roach, Anderson Lawfer

I'm Not Really A Waitress

To contact us Click HERE

I treated myself to a pedicure today, and went with one of my all-time favorite shades: I'm Not Really A Waitress by OPI.  It's the company's biggest selling polish, and for good reason: it's the perfect shade of red with a nice shimmer to it.  Even my husband noticed. Not too shabby!

It's back to school tomorrow for my high schooler and middle schooler, after a long Christmas break. They're less than thrilled, as you might imagine, but I'm looking forward to getting back into our usual routine.

Newsweek's Downward Spiral Continues

To contact us Click HERE

There was a time when I used to enjoy reading Newsweek.  Then came the rise of 24-hour news channels and internet news sites, all providing stunning visuals and breaking news in real time. Weekly news magazines like Newsweek quickly became outdated dinosaurs   The only way for Newsweek to compete and try to stay relevant was to offer in-depth, thoughtful analysis. But, with the rise of political blogs, they lost even more ground.

Now, the folks at Newsweek are just plain desperate.

Their latest cover poses the question: "Why Are Obama's Critics So Dumb?"  Since when did elitist name-calling become a substitute for well-researched journalism? The editors at Newsweek are not even trying to pretend that they're a legitimate source of news anymore. I can't decide if it's more sad than pathetic.

This cover story is just the latest in a long line of questionable choices made by the Newsweek editorial board.  They've taken heat in the past year for their gleefully unflattering covers of Tea Party favorites Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin, but those weren't the worst of it.
For me, the most egregious "jump the shark" moment for Newsweek came when they photoshopped a 14-years-dead-and-gone Princess Diana, digitally aged to appear 50 years old and walking alongside her son's soon-to-be wife, Kate Middleton. A new low that even the sleaziest tabloids have not attempted. Disgusting.

It was a blatant ploy to exploit the late Princess Diana's enduring popularity as a taken-too-soon icon. Almost a decade and a half after her death, Newsweek still couldn't resist going to the well one more time, disregarding the unseemly fact that it was the media's unhealthy obsession with capturing Diana's image that led to her tragic death.

Spotting a Fake PayPal Email -- Don't be fooled!

To contact us Click HERE

I received an email today that was structured to look as though it came from PayPal.

Here's a screen shot (click on the photo to see it larger):


Fortunately, I've heard enough warnings about "phishing" emails to be on the lookout for messages like this one,  that try to trick recipients into clicking on bogus links that will harm your computer and/or attempt to trick you into giving a 3rd party website your PayPal password and account info.

A few tip offs that this one was a fake:

-- It wasn't sent just to me, but to "undisclosed recipients"

-- They did not address me by my first and last name anywhere in the email

-- The return address appears to be from "Service@PayPal.com", but if you click "Show More" for the Sender, the full email address is revealed as noreply@netlogmail.com

-- If you hover over the links embedded in the email, you'll see that they won't take you to a secure page on the PayPal website. Instead, they direct you to another website entirely--one that will likely harm your computer the minute you click the link.

What really annoys me about this email is that they have the nerve to include "helpful" information on how to avoid fraud--and the link they provide to show you their Security Tips takes you right to the same bogus website as all of the other links.

If you receive an email like this, and you aren't sure whether or not it is from the real PayPal site, follow these simple steps:

1.  DO NOT CLICK ON ANY OF THE LINKS IN THE EMAIL

2.  Forward the email to spoof@paypal.com   Don't send the email as an attachment, and don't change the Subject line....just forward it to PayPal and they will contact you as to whether or not the email is legit or a spoof/scam.

3. Delete the email

You can read more about how to avoid Phishing scams at the real PayPal site HERE

FACE OF THE FUTURE: Elizabeth A. Davis

To contact us Click HERE
She sings, she dances, she plays a mean violin.  Often, at Once at least, she does all three at the same time.  And, of course, she acts.  In Once, she is a friend and a seductress.  And she is really, really good at all of it.  Not only does she manage to blend into Broadway's best ensemble, she also manages to make an individual impression.  So much so that Elizabeth A. Davis earned a 2012 Tony nomination for Best Featured Actress in a Musical.

Something tells me that will not be the first and last we've heard of this Broadway debutante.  She is definitely a face of the future!

Once: Davis, left, with Cristin Milioti

Once: Davis, left, with Cristin Milioti and Erikka Walsh

Once: Reza (Davis) makes a move on Billy (Paul Whitty)

Davis, center (yellow scarf), with her Once castmates

Recording the cast album

Creating her "Tony Portrait"

Before you go...

• ...have you TWEETED ME with hash tag #SickofBway naming the Broadway shows you are so OVER!
• ...have you checked out MS. BROADWAY SEPTEMBER 2012, CHRISTIANE NOLL?  CLICK her picture in the right hand column to see more and to hear her sing from Ragtime!
• ...have you VOTED in this month's THEATRE POLL? CLICK your answer on the poll in the left column!

Jeff4.025Comments? Questions? @jkstheatrescene (Twitter); jkstheatrescene@yahoo.com (Email); or leave a comment below and check a box!

CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT: Old Jews Telling Jokes

To contact us Click HERE
Oy vey!  Heat up the matzo ball soup! And when you are done reading this, call your mother!



The folks over at the off-Broadway hit Old Jews Telling Jokes have asked me to share a really amazing contest with you!  The show, which has received some of the best reviews of any shows this year, stars 2 guys I'm sure you know, if not by name, then by sight: Lenny Wolpe and Todd Susman, and one theatre comedy legend, Marilyn Sokol. (Not sure who they are? GOOGLE THEM!)  The cast also features Bill Army and Audrey Lynn Weston.

The Cast of Old Jews Telling Jokes

The contest is pretty simple - click the image below and "LIKE" them on Facebook! Actually...it is VERY simple!



What could you win:

• 4 tickets to the show
• Dinner at 54 Below
• An exclusive selection of show merchandise
• A post-show meet-and-greet with the cast (including photos!)

The contest deadline is OCTOBER 1 - One week from tonight!

And to get you in the mood, check out this fun video all about the Elusive Gefilte Fish, hosted by co-star Audrey Lynn Weston:



Before you go...

• ...have you TWEETED ME with hash tag #SickofBway naming the Broadway shows you are so OVER!
• ...have you checked out this week's FACE OF THE FUTURE!? She's a beauty and she's a Tony-nominee!  CLICK HERE!
• ...have you checked out MS. BROADWAY SEPTEMBER 2012, CHRISTIANE NOLL?  CLICK her picture in the right hand column to see more and to hear her sing from Ragtime!
• ...have you VOTED in this month's THEATRE POLL? CLICK your answer on the poll in the left column!

Jeff4.026Comments? Questions? @jkstheatrescene (Twitter); jkstheatrescene@yahoo.com (Email); or leave a comment below and check a box!