How To Treat A Playwright In Chicago (Randall Colburn)

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                                                     Even August Wilson rewrote his boring plays


As a playwright, I work on a lot of new plays. Mainly myown, since the plays I write are usually new. I’m not the kind of playwrightwho goes to rehearsals constantly. It’s important to let the director,designers, and actors do their thing without some scarf-ensconced assholehanging around, smoking his pipe, and sighing resignedly when you mess up aline. When I am there, though, it’s easy to feel like an alien, especially instorefront theater, where many actors and directors haven’t had the chance towork closely with a playwright and the limited resources have the potential tohinder the creative process through sheer practicalities.
As a means of introduction to fringe-dwellers interested inworking on a new play with a playwright in the room, I’ve compiled this handyguide. I hope it helps.
(Addendum: Aside from my own experience in the storefrontcommunity, I haven’t done, like, research or anything, and I do not presume tospeak for other writers. When I say playwright, I mean me, though I don’t feelI’m too off-center here.)
1          We’re going to rewrite.
Though it may seem like a load off your shoulders at first,if you’re working on a new play where the playwright is present in therehearsal room and is not rewriting, or not at least fine-tuning, you’re probably fucked.
On the regular, though, it’s going to happen. So don’t tryto stop us. It doesn’t matter how much work we’ve done on the play beforerehearsals. When rehearsals start, and actors start saying our words andstumbling over our words and walking around with our words coming out of theirmouths, things are going to start changing. It isn’t because we don’t like you,or don’t feel like you’re doing a good job, it’s because making a play is likebuilding a spice rack: you don’t know how crooked the shelves are until you tryand put a bunch of spice jars on them. Give us the space to straighten thoseshelves so you guys don’t fall all over yourselves and spill spice everywhere.Spice. Metaphor. Yay.
Now, the playwright may tell you beforehand: “Ya know, I’mfeeling really good about it. I doubt I’ll do that much, really.”
That’s a lie. I say that shit all the time, and I’m alwayswrong. My play HESPERIA had already had a well-recieved production at RightBrain Project before it opened at Writers’ Theatre, and I still rewrote thewhole damn thing.
So never trust a word the playwright says when it comes tothem being finished. They’re not. They never will be. And since that’s thecase…
2          Give us a deadline.
And be vigilant about it, dammit. Make it a week or twoweeks before tech. That’s usually good.
Some people use the word “cement.”
“We should cement the script by that point.”
All that should mean is no more big changes. No new scenes,no new characters, no new tech. Fine-tuning never stops. Stop worrying aboutyour actors. If your actors are professionals, they can handle it. So, actors,on that note…
3           Embrace the fact that you’ll be memorizing,unmemorizing, and rememorizing things constantly.
We’re probably going to cut all your favorite lines, addones you don’t like, cut those, add others, and end up with some amalgamationof it all. Embrace it. You’re part of a living, gestating piece of art. That’sexciting, even when it isn’t, and it’s a damn good skill set to have.  Along those same lines, keep a binder,dammit. And replace old pages with new ones. Don’t put the new ones in thatpocket in the front. You’ll forget. You always forget. Which leads me to mynext point:
4          Get access to a free printer.
Working on rewrites during HESPERIA rehearsals at Writers’Theatre was a revelation for me. Why? Two reasons:
a       Bobby Kennedy b       Writers’ Theatre has their own printer
See, Bobby Kennedy is their literary associate, and a printer prints stuff. SoBobby did the printing, which he was happy to do since that’s part of hisfull-time job. And their printer printed stuff really quickly because it’s abig printer. They even printed each set of rewrites in a different color, so wecould keep track! The best part of it all: I didn’t have to do it, pay for it,or hide it from my bosses at Groupon.
But that’s rare in the storefront scene. I’ve done about 10shows on the fringe where I didn’t have direct access to Bobby Kennedy and hismagical, multicolored printer. We print from our piddly desk printers, orcovertly do it at work, or go to Screenz and pay stupid amounts of money.
And all of that is fine. Just have a plan in place. You’regoing to have to print a lot of pages, get them organized, and hand them out toactors. Speaking of actors, make your damn actors do it themselves. We’re allin this together.  Have a printing plan.Or make it part of the budget. If it’s a new play, it’s necessary. Believe me.
Oh, and don’t waste copies on the playwright. We always haveour laptops. Unless we don’t. I always do. Whatever. As for us playwrights…
5         Ask, don’t tell.
Talking to us can be hard. We know. We know that you knowthat we put our blood and guts into this play, and we want you to know that weknow that it’s hard for you to bring concerns to us, as you don’t want tooffend us, or make us feel unloved. But we DO want you to bring concerns to us,because clearly we respect you and your opinion enough to be working with you.BUT, we are also fragile, sensitive creatures who put our blood and guts intothis play, and if you tell us our play isn’t perfect we’ll probably go home andcry a lot. To offset this, do us this favor:
Don’t tell us what’s wrong with our play.
Please, don’t say:
“I don’t think my character would do this.”or“I think the ending is contrived.”or “I think you suck.”
Instead, ask us questions.
But please, don’t ask questions like:
“What the hell does this mean?”or  “Why do you hate women?”or “Who do you think you are?”
Ask us what wewere thinking when we wrote a certain scene. Or why we feel this monologue is important. Or why we chose to dedicate ourselves to writing instead of somethingmore wholesome, like, say, baseball.
Make us explain ourselves. If we don’t have an answer, we’llprobably get where you’re coming from, because you’ve so cleverly let usdiscover your own concern on our own. Any tension or discomfort has beenevaded, because the prickly playwright figured it out his or herself. Speakingof preserving the relationship between director and playwright, and preservingthat relationship is important…
6. Have a game plan.
Playwrights can be hella distracting, especially if you givethem free reign. I don’t shut the fuck up. It’s awful. In college, when myfirst play was produced I mouthed along with the words during rehearsal. I wassuch a little asshole. Combat this by laying the ground rules. Here’s ones Iwould recommend:
* The playwright only speaks in rehearsal if asked a directquestion. * The playwright filters all of his or her thoughts througha director or dramaturg. * The playwright sends all rewrites to the director ordramaturg before disseminating to the cast. * The director keeps the playwright in the loop with anymajor updates. * Nobody bangs each other until the show’s open. 

-Randall Colburn

Catch Randall's play "The Improv Play"